Busan Ways To Die

(Posted by Andrew a few days after we got back because, well, you'll see...)

This post inspired and dedicated to "Dumb Ways to Die":

For our last day in Busan, we decided to head out to some hiking in the woods on Geumjeong-san. And by "hiking", I mean "riding the cable car to the top and exploring for 30 minutes then going to find a nice lunch". We didn't even wear our hiking shoes.

After easily reaching the south gate of Geumjeongsanseong fortress, we took a recommendation from our Lonely Planet book to seek out Seokbul-sa Temple, described in the book as "out-of-the-way and difficult-to-find"; it should have been described as "not on the mountain you are currently standing on; actually near the top of the next mountain over". We didn't discover this omission until we were pot-committed, having already descended the wrong side of Geumjeong-san from the cable car and realizing we would have to hike all the way back up or else exit the park in an unfamiliar direction. As we started up the next mountain and not convinced we were going the right way, I spotted a rock outcropping near the peak and commented that it surely couldn't be all the way up there. Famous last words. Thus our 30-minute stroll in a park turned into a 4-hour hike in the mountains. Luckily we had come prepared and had brought with us half a bottle of water and a full pack of Mentos for sustenance.

Hiking in the mountains without adequate supplies... dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die!

Admittedly when we finally got there, Seokbul-sa was impressive. Smaller than most temples we've seen in Asia but certainly different, carved out of the actual rock of the mountain itself. Also, the nice thing about Buddhists is that they don't mind and are even encouraging of you to explore and take photos of their temples while they are practising their religion.

We gave up any hope of being able to ascend back to the cable car so decided to try our luck walking out of the park to the south as there seemed to be a steady stream of hikers coming from that direction. While not arduous, it was a lengthy trail and about half way down we encountered a man selling tea by the side of the trail. At first we were going to pass him by but then one of the other hikers, seeing the state we were in, encouraged us to come over and join him in a sample of the tea (in what little English he knew: "drink... make strong!"). The tea was actually quite invigorating and gave us renewed strength on our way down the mountain; we even bought some to take back home. (Foreshadowing for later that night: "It must've been the tea! What else could it have been? Why did we agree to that tea?")

Accepting drinks from strangers in the woods... dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die!

Not unlike the final sequence in "Alive", the woods eventually finally gave way to suburbs which finally gave way to urban sprawl where we thankfully stumbled immediately upon a subway station to take us back to our "home" neighbourhood of Haeundae. A late lunch was enjoyed reviewing how unprepared we had been for that adventure and how we'd look back on it and laugh. We then went for an evening cruise around Busan and had planned a late bulgogi dinner as a farewell to Korea, since the next morning we had a long journey all the way home to Calgary.

(Anyone who like happy endings, has a weak stomach, or an underdeveloped sense of schadenfreude should stop reading here. Or just anyone: stop reading now. The rest of this post should probably only be discussed with my therapist and not published on the internet. Consider yourself warned.)

Then *it* happened.

It happened to Jessica starting at about 9PM, it didn't get me until around 1AM. Food poisoning, almost certainly from the tea, and bad. Every molecule of food and liquid in our systems decided to head for the emergency exits, with many of them realizing that the nearest exit was behind them. It's never a good sign when you need to call the front desk in the wee hours of the morning to ask to have more toilet paper delivered to your room. (The one bright spot in an otherwise horrible night was that Jessica & I, being so well-suited for each other, did manage to time our frequent bathroom trips perfectly: the bathroom was almost never empty but at any given time one person was shivering from the cold sweats on the bed while the other person was retching in the bathroom; I can't think of a single instance when we conflicted.)

By morning we were two exhausted, dehydrated corpses and the room was reduced to a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We now had to start an estimated 23-hour journey home (taxi + train + train + plane + plane + car) and hadn't yet managed to go 15 minutes without using the bathroom. I found a few packets of Imodium in my toiletry bag but they were 6-months past their expiry date. Good enough, we both agreed.

Eating medicine that's out of date... dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die!

(And that one's actually in the real song.)

We made it home... alive... eventually... barely. We're looking forward to exercising the lessons we learned from our day of stupidity in Busan. Also, I'm looking forward to being able to keep food down again.

On a plus note, if anyone is looking to lose a few pounds, I know a foolproof technique.