Day 14, Yangon: Pagoda-palooza.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 25; Yangon, Myanmar.)

Today we started with our fourth 5AM wake-up in a row so I could somewhat follow in my grandfather's footsteps and head north to Myanmar. He served there during WW2 for the British Army, but I'm guessing a tour guide didn't meet him at the airport.

We weren't sure what to expect from Myanmar but so far have found Yangon to be relatively clean and up-to-date, especially compared to the rubble of India and Nepal. Mostly it consists of old colonial buildings left over from British rule that are only just being restored as the country slowly opens its doors to the rest of the world.

We were only taken to our hotel long enough to drop off our bags before being whisked off for a half-day tour of the city. We started at Shwedagon Pagoda, which is really just the largest of about two bazillion other pagodas around it. Myanmar is about 85% Buddhist and they really like their pagodas.

After that we were off to the Reclining Buddha of Chauk Htat Gyi Pagoda. He was big; really big.

Now I keep saying in every post that this'll be the last post for a while but then we keep running into unexpectedly good internet connections. However, tomorrow we head further north to Mandalay and our river cruise, and the tour operator has warned that internet is virtually non-existent there so this time I mean it when I say you won't hear from us for a week.

Unless, of course, you do.

Day 13, In Transit - Part 2: Detoured!

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 24; en route from Kathmandu, Nepal to Yangon, Myanmar... in theory.)

Our travel day started well with our early morning flight from Kathmandu to Delhi, as a clear day gave us a beautiful final view of the Himalayas. It's easy to lose perspective on how high they are, until you realize the plane is at cruising altitude and there are still quite a few peaks we would barely clear. (Contrast this to flying from Calgary to Vancouver: you can hardly discern any altitude difference on the Rockies around Banff and Lake Louis.)

We hit trouble in Delhi, though.

Stepping back, when we booked the flights for today we had healthy connection times in each city along the way. Unfortunately the airlines rejigged their schedules a few weeks later (there outta be a law!) leaving us with only an 85 minute connection time in Bangkok. When we landed in Delhi and saw our flight was delayed by 90 minutes we knew all hope was lost. It ended up being almost two hours behind schedule, and when we finally got underway the captain announced that the reason for the delay was so inbound passengers could make the connection onto this plane. This made us both very cranky since it meant we were going to miss our connection in Bangkok, and that was with an entirely different airline. I spent the whole flight thinking out logistics of how we were going to find our bags, a hotel, another flight to Myanmar the next day, etc and had pretty much mentally declared Jet Airways as the worst airline ever...

... until we got to Bangkok airport (which is HUGE) and found a concierge waiting at the top of the jetway holding a sign with our name on it. Turned out that Jet Airways had realized they had messed with our connection and had arranged a hotel, transportation, dinner & breakfast, and already had us booked on the first flight out the next morning. So Jet Airways is awesome; I feel bad about any negative thoughts I had during the day.

Now Christmas Eve finds us in an airport hotel in Bangkok, not the Governor's Residence in Yangon. However, it could've gone a lot worse, all things considered. The bad news is that Santa won't know where to find us to bring us our presents tonight; the good news is since we've cleared the airport now we can say we've been to Thailand.

Also I have an excuse to link to this song. (Kids, ask your parents.)

Day 13, In Transit: Onward to Myanmar.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 24; en route from Kathmandu, Nepal to Yangon, Myanmar.)

Today is another travel day as we make our way from Nepal to Myanmar, the one destination we weren't secretive about.

We enjoyed Nepal more than we expected to, though to truly appreciate it you'd have to be more into backpacking and camping than we are.

I have no idea if we will have any internet access at all in Myanmar, so don't worry if we go radio-silent until the 3rd or 4th of January. If that's the case, I'll probably put up any remaining posts one-per-day on a delay so "virtual Andrew & Jessica" will be a few weeks behind us. In fact, virtual A&J will probably still be on vacation long after we're back at work. :(

Happy 2014 everyone.

Day 12, Kathmandu: Home Cookin'.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 23; Kathmandu, Nepal.)

We had a booked a second day in Nepal as a fallback in case the weather didn't cooperate for our Everest flight yesterday. However, as Kathmandu is largely used as a launching pad for extended backpacking adventures in the Himalayas, touring options within the city are somewhat limited. I did manage to find a half-day walking tour with a private guide that would show us the major sites. Technically it was a "walking and taking-the-bus" tour as we frequently hopped on the public transit option: medium-sized vans into which we had packed as many as 21 people at a time:

(I'm more than two standard deviations from the average Nepalese male and our guide ended up having to pay two fares for me: one for me and one for my legs.)

The Nepalese people are friendly and polite, a welcome change after some of the more aggressive barkers in India. They are welcoming to outsiders since tourism is the main industry here, though in the city tourists were few (we saw only a couple of other tourists all day) and mostly we were ignored.

Our tour started at Swayambhunath, also known as the Monkey Temple of Nepal. This was an unexpected highlight, packed with large groups of Buddhists singing holy songs, spinning prayer wheels, feeding thousands of pigeons (to get good karma) which was promptly stolen by the dozens of titular monkeys (who, presumably, will get bad karma).

Another "bus" ride took us to central Kathmandu where we toured several temples, shrines, royal palaces, and it all was a bit of a blur. Also we had a viewing of the Kumari, the living goddess of Kathmandu. (Mixed feelings on this one.)

A good thing about this tour is that up until now we haven't really gotten off of many of the hotel "compounds" to see how the locals actually live; we definitely resolved that situation today:

The tour ended visiting a Nepalese home for a lesson in traditional cooking. We had to supply the veggies that we picked up on the way: potatoes, cauliflower, cilantro, tomatoes, and onion (enough for three adults and four children) came to 165 rupees... less than $2.

When we got to the house, I was all impressed that the children (five boys, all under ten or so) were not glued to the TV like they would be back home. Then the guide explained to us that they only get eight hours of electricity per day, split into three blocks. At noon when the power came on all the kids were immediately glued to the TV. Some things are universal.

Nepalese cooking consists of spicy fried vegetables with rice, eaten with your bare hands.

The cooking lesson we will take home with us; the eating style we will not.

P.S. Gastronomical status: A few scares but still pretty good, all things considered.

Days 11-12, Kathmandu: Everest? Never rest.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 22-23; Kathmandu, Nepal)

I don't know what we were thinking: mountains just don't like us.

Illiniza Norte turned us away; Mt. Fuji wouldn't reveal itself to us. So what the hell were we thinking approaching the king of all mountains... Everest?

Also, we don't like hiking.

Also we are in terrible shape.

And too old.

What. Were. We. Thinking.

------------------------------

For our Everest adventure we managed to find a company that would fly you most of the way from Kathmandu to Base Camp, but from there it is "just" a three-day hike in and out, with Sherpas carrying all your gear. Think of it as Base Camp for the glamping crowd.

We started the hike in rain, rain, rain. You could stand in the shower for an hour and be dryer than we were 15 minutes into this walk. Summer is meant to be the rainy season but this winter is defying the odds. Our feet were a mess of blisters within hours, not to mention Jessica's bad back prevented her from carrying anything. (Meanwhile, the Nepalese were apparently able to carry twice their own body weight without a problem.) The altitude was problematic as well. Even after ten minutes rest you can't get a full breath in, and the migraines were intense. Add to that the fact that the altitude sickness pills give you pins-and-needles in your extremities that are annoying as hell. By the time we got into our tent on the first night (hours behind schedule) we thought it might be easiest just to add our names to the list of those who had died on Everest than to try to go on or even to turn back.

Aaaaaaaand by about now anyone who knows us at all has already recognized this as complete bullshit. :)

We didn't attempt to hike to Base Camp; we booked a seat on a flying tour where you look at Everest out the window of a comfortable airplane.

We were back at the hotel by lunchtime.

I had ice cream.

------------------------------

Actually, even the flying option was not terribly easy. We got up at 5AM to be at the airport first thing, but the Himalayan mountain gods sent down thick fog that shut down the airport. Our driver took us back to our hotel and encouraged a long breakfast, then eventually took us to the Kathmandu Airport Domestic Air Terminal. This building (and it's tiny, filthy bathrooms) probably doesn't look great at the best of times, but cramped full of the hundreds of passengers from the dozen or so flights that were grounded made for a less-than-ideal waiting area. After several hours the fog lifted enough for us to board our plane, a twin-prop 18-seater on "Buddha Air" and we were off...

... only to pull back off the runway when the pilots found a malfunction in the altimeter. We had to deplane and go back to the Terminal from Hell. (Interesting side note: When we were boarding our plane the jet next to us was all decked out for the World Cup trophy. I thought it was just advertising but the next day I noticed several signs to come see the actual prize. So it turns out we were just a few dozen meters away from the FIFA trophy.) After another hour (and having spent six hours at the airport now) we finally made a second attempt to see Everest.

It was worth the wait as we rose above the haze of Kathmandu into one of the clearest days the flight attendant had seen in three years on the job. The Himalayas are visually daunting, seeming to be mountains stacked on top of mountains. After 45 minutes we got our turn at the cockpit to see the king of them all, Everest:

Our string of bad luck with mountains is finally broken!

But I wasn't lying about the ice cream:

(Gastronomical status: One of us on the peak of Everest; the other stuck in the Death Zone.)

Day 10, In Transit: Artsy Fartsy India

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 21; en route from Delhi, India to ???)

Another travel day today, so not much to report. In the meantime, here are some very artsy photos I took in India.

P.S. Gastronomical status: The Audacity of Hope.

Day 9, Delhi: Two more religions' boxes ticked.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 20; Delhi, India)

Today we stayed in Delhi for a day tour, starting at Jama Masjid in Old Delhi. This is the largest mosque in India and can accommodate from 25,000 to 85,000 worshipers, depending on which Wikipedia page you choose to believe. (Apparently Wikipedia is like India, with many different systems of belief existing concurrently.)

(Don't blame me for the fact that this photo is 20 degrees off level since obviously I didn't take it. Also, don't blame Jessica for her horrible choice of outfits; them's the rules for a woman visiting the mosque.)

Jessica pointed out that we've been to numerous Catholic, Protestant, and Eastern Orthodox cathedrals, Shinto shrines, Buddhist temples, etc. but we had never been to a mosque before, so there's another box ticked. My personal prayer is that if I ever visit another mosque I will get significantly less bird poop on my socks than I did today.

After that we toured the Tomb of Mahatma Gandhi as well as a few other tombs of this guy and that guy and I don't know who... we're kinda tombed out. We then went to a Hindu shrine, another first for us, but they wouldn't let us take pictures.

We ended up asking to be brought back to the hotel a little early: very tired and Jessica's back is really giving her trouble. Time for a siesta.

P.S. Gastronomical status: Cautiously optimistic.

P.P.S. Happy Whale Day to all!

Day 8, Agra: The Best and Worst of India.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 19; Agra, India)

We turned on the TV on our first morning in India and the first thing we saw was the latest antics of Rob Ford. Oh Canada!

When we started the four hour journey south from Delhi to Agra, I let the driver know that I hadn't had a chance to get any rupees yet so could he keep an eye out for a cash machine. An hour later he pulled over to the side of the road to The Dodgiest ATM in the World (tm). As we eyed the various piles of rubble and garbage I would have to climb over to get to the ATM, Jessica declared "good luck" and was staying in the car. I decided to just take my bank card and leave my wallet behind so my family would have something to remember me by. Amazingly the machine worked on the first try (there was no Interact or Plus stickers on it - in fact there were no identifying marks on it whatsoever, not even a bank name) though sadly when I turned back towards the car several members of the Shudra caste had gathered to beg me for my cash. (Unfortunately, India is living up to its reputation in that you really do have to harden your heart a little to get through a day here.)

After a few more hours on hair-raising Indian roads, we eventually arrived in Agra where we visited the Tomb and the Fort before heading on to the main event: the Taj Mahal.

This mausoleum was built in the Shah Jahan as a resting place for his third wife, Mumtaz, who perished in child-birth. Grief stricken, the Shah had the Taj Mahal over three decades in perfect symmetry around her tomb, with the only asymmetrical aspect being his own tomb immediately beside her as he could not bear to be separated from her...

Thanks a lot, Shah Jahan! Now how am I going to look when I buy Jessica the flowers that are on at half-price at the grocery store when I'm doing a beer run? Guys like this ruin it for the rest of us!

P.S. Gastronomical status: So far so good (mostly).

Day 7, In Transit: Expectations Fulfilled.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 18; en route from Dubai, UAE to ???)

Today is a transit day for us as we depart UAE and we arrive in a new country. (FWIW our room in Dubai was meant to boast spectacular sunset views and we never managed to see any: napped through the first, in the desert for the second, and at the mall for the third.).

We didn't get in until the evening but so far our destination has fulfilled expectations: thick smog; crazy traffic jams; insane driving behavior; beggars knocking on your car windows; etc.

Most of you will have figured out where we are...

Day 6, Dubai: The Desolation of Dubai Mall.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 17; Dubai, UAE)

Today was our whistle-stop tour of Dubai, having only one day to see the the entire city.

We started at the Atlantis Hotel at the top of the Palm Jumeirah. There wasn't all that much to see here, though the aquarium was impressive. What we especially enjoyed was that the aquarium didn't bother putting up placards explaining what the fish were and where they were from: just look at the fish and go "oooooh" and "that's so weird". You know you're just going to forget everything twenty minutes later, so why bother pretending you're learning. Also, they had all these cool chairs you could sit in and pretend you're some bad-ass from the Riddick movies:

Next stop was the Marina, which was pleasant but didn't have much to do outside of the restaurants. The real attraction was the architecture: as with all the skyscrapers in Dubai, you get to see what happens when you give architects a virtually unlimited budget and a mandate to show off; every building is unique and impressive.

In the afternoon we headed to Dubai Mall to go up to the observation deck of the Burj Khalifa. To be honest, once you've been to the top of a few tall buildings it begins to dull your senses and you can't tell that you are whatever number of floors higher than you've ever been. The real attraction was the elevator: it is the fastest public elevator in the world but has no windows and accelerates so gently that you can barely feel it; if not for the floor numbers increasing I wouldn't have thought we were even moving.

We then had several hours to kill to wait until the evening fountain shows. We're not big fans of malls so we decided to kill the time seeing the latest "The Hobbit" movie. It was forgettable, and made no better by the fact that it had both Arabic and French subtitles:

(That shot is a bit out of focus but that's the best picture I was brave enough to take because the ushers come in to scan the audience every ten minutes. Our theory is that they're making sure that nobody is using the privacy of the dark theatre for a little hanky-panky. And yes, I did just use the term "hanky-panky"; apparently I've suddenly turned 80.)

Other than that the mall was just like any other: large, crowded, and full of most of the same stores and brands we could get back home. The sight of women in full burkas shopping at Victoria's Secret did seem a bit counter-intuitive, though. Also strange was that we spotted our fifth and sixth Tim Horton's stores so far; Dubai has the highest concentration of Timmy's that we've ever seen outside of Canada; in fact I'm not sure I've ever seen one outside of the Great White North. (For non-Canadian readers: Tim Horton's is a coffee shop where Canadians line up for an inordinate amount of time for coffee.)

After a long day we were desperate for a sit and a drink, and fatigue turned into annoyance when we confirmed that there was not a drop of booze in the mall. The food and drink at our resort is quite expensive, so we were happy to fill up on food at the mall but then were desperate to get back to the "booze oasis". We made a minor misstep here and followed the advice of our tour guide who said to avoid the lines at the taxi stand by going to an alternate taxi location on the other end of the mall. The result was an hour long trek in circles that would Sam and Frodo proud. At one point we found ourselves going the wrong way on a moving sidewalk that was so long I'm pretty sure we could see the curvature of the Earth. When we finally gave up and went to the official taxi stand and did in fact encounter a long line... of empty taxis desperate for a passenger.

Tomorrow we leave Dubai for our next country.

Day 5, The Arabian Desert: Camel-bombed.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 16; near Dubai, UAE)

We started the day today by pretending we were still young and going to the Wild Wadi Water Park which is attached to our hotel. While fun, it was completely deserted (get it?) and we managed to go on every slide in under an hour. (I later asked a tour guide when the busy tourist season was in Dubai and he said this was it, but perhaps it was a bit low now because we are close to the holidays.)

After a brief swim in the Persian Gulf we were ready to head out for our desert tour in the afternoon. (The tour had lots of activities so get ready for a lot of photos - this is actually only a small subset of all the things we did, and even the camera protested by showing the low battery warning on only the fifth day of usage. Luckily I am a techno-nerd and was able to partially recharge it via the cigarette lighter in our guide's Land Rover.)

Our guide took us out to the Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve where we had a full agenda. While the sun was still up we got to see a falconer (from the lesser-known emerate of "South Africa") demonstrate his skill:

Next we made our way to the camp as the Sun went down via 20 minutes of sand dune driving which was only a little scary and a whole lot nauseating. Unfortunately I couldn't get a single good photo of it while bouncing up and down in the car, so could only get clear shots of the calmer moments:

At camp, Jessica demonstrated that she had as natural an affinity for birds as the falconer did:

We then took a camel ride and tried to get a nice photo but got photo-bombed by another camel (camel-bombed?):

Then it was time for dinner watching a belly dancer:

And finally, anyone who knows me knows I can't finish a day with a good hookah:

With so much going on, we forgot to try tasting camel milk, get henna done, etc. We've saved a few things for next time, I guess.

Day 4, Dubai: Recovery.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 15; Dubai, UAE)

On overnight flight gets us to our major destination on this journey, Dubai.

We considered staying at the iconic Burj Al Arab but the tariffs start at roughly $2500/night which is a touch above our budget. (This blog is read by the people in charge of determining each of our salaries; they should have a long, hard think about how much more interesting it would be if we could have afforded this place. Hint, hint, hint.) Instead we stayed at the neighboring Jumeirah Beach Hotel. If you can't stay in the best then may as well stay where you can look at the best, and the view from our balcony was not to shabby:

We arrived early this morning and had planned for a day of recovery since at this point we've done two red-eye flights and have accumulated 11-hours of jet lag. The schedule turned out to be almost as busy as London: a morning snooze on the beach, a short siesta after lunch followed by a four-hour power nap, and then a grueling evening effort to stay up late enough to go to bed at a decent hour.

Tomorrow we get back onto "scheduled fun".

Days 1-3, London: Busy, busy, busy.

(Posted by Andrew about the events of Dec 12-14; London, England)

Our journey began with a few days in London to visit friends and family. I saved up my remaining upgrade points for the year and got us bumped up to Business Class, but misfortune struck Jessica before we had even left home. In her own words (on the day we left): "I had a poor sleep last night, and now I'm probably not going to get to enjoy Business Class since I'll just sleep the entire way to London." (During the flight I sent a I tried collecting condolences in the form of cash donations from the folk in Economy but they were not receptive to this idea. Selfish!)

We had an insanely busy schedule in London. In two and a half days we managed to attend nine different events/appointments/dates. (A quick hello to Mike, Farhad, Simon, Christelle, Paola, Carl, Samir, Kay, David, Thor, Fiona, Sam, Rosie, Morvern, Katie, Holly, Daisy, Pixie, Maureen, Douglas, Johnathan, Paul, & Claire. Apologies to Howard and James; next time maybe.) While it was enjoyable for us, the real winners are the folks at Transport For London and the British National Rail service who will both enjoy banner years based on the amount of tickets we've purchased over these few days.

Now an aside while we await our red-eye flight to the next leg of this adventure: I'm aware that Jessica has been talking up this blog to quite a few people, and in particular inflating expectations about my comedic prowess as a writer. This leaves me feeling some pressure to come up with a witty and amusing blog posting, but so far I've mostly come up dry since things have been going swimmingly well. The sad fact is that tragedy breeds comedy, and the funniest posts have always been recanting some misfortune befalling us on our trips. At least in the weeks ahead as Jessica & I undergo some logistical,  meteorological, or gastrointestinal catastrophe, we can take solace that our trials will not be in vain when, days later, someone gets 3-5 seconds of amusement from our suffering.

2013's "Big Trip" starting today.

Not a big fan of this show, but this might make sense in time:

We leave later today...